It's amazing to me how Square continues to make high quality games with modern sensibilities that get snubbed simply for being such, yet when they commission low-effort, barely playable and never enjoyable faux-retro games that bring nothing new or interesting to the table year after year, they consistently get rewarded with praise and high sales. Octopath Traveler is another example of that, mashing low-resolution 2D sprites into a 3D engine with pixelated textures and a gross blurring filter on everything that isn't dead-center in the foreground to create an overly busy mishmash of elements that is neither appealing for fans of retro RPGs nor pleasing to look at in the slightest. You can't even admire the (admittedly decent) spritework because the colors are consistently washed out or undersaturated by the harsh lighting and every combat sprite and action is accompanied by dozens of incredibly distracting visual effects. Even navigating around towns is a pain since everything more than a few yards away from center screen becomes a blurry, darkened soup; this might just be the world's first video game simulation of glaucoma. Gameplay is no better than the hideous graphics, just being a drawn-out and terribly paced experience where badly acted, poorly written dialog scenes drone on for ages, every fight is a damage sponge filled slog that takes far too long to finish (boss fights last thirty minutes at minimum) and constant random encounters only further add to the agony. Fill the rest with shallow characterizations, clichéd storylines and grind-heavy character building that drags beyond belief, and you have a truly wretched experience. I already know people will try to justify all of Octopath's flaws by calling it an 'homage' to the RPGs of the 16-bit era; I say this is bunk. An homage shows respect to its source material and strives to highlight the things that made it exceptional in its time; Octopath uses the label as cart blanche to retread all the worst clichés and dated design tropes of the era, and only serves as a painful reminder of why they should have been left in the past. So instead of wasting your time and money on a dire imitation, just play a few of the real standout JRPGs of the 16-bit era instead, like Chrono Trigger, Dragon Quest V, Final Fantasy V and VI, Super Mario RPG, Phantasy Star IV, Breath of Fire, Terranigma, Illusion of Gaia or Earthbound. Or if you want some modern games that celebrate everything great about their predecessors while doing much to set themselves apart too, play Undertale, Dragon Quest XI S, Ni no Kuni II, Divinity: Original Sin II, XCOM 2, Indivisible, Bloodstained, Valkyria Chronicles 4, Skyborn or Prey. Either way though, leave this crap to be forgotten right alongside the other yearly dozens of lazy imitation retro games made by committee-run content mills like Acquire who say they love retro gaming, but really just love the easy sales they get by saying they do. Fuck shameless exploitation of people's nostalgia, and fuck the sequels they're already planning so they can do it again every couple years from now on.
Developer: Square Enix/Acquire
Publisher: Square Enix
Released: 2018
Platforms: Switch, PC, Stadia