Based on a series of books I've never read (and after playing the game and interacting with the gross-ass fandom, I can now confidently say I never want to), the Witcher is purportedly an "adult RPG". Like so many that apply that label to themselves, it mistakes gratuitous gore, T&A and foul language for "adult content" and as a result becomes far more juvenile than E or T-rated games of similar design. There are too many examples of this to recount in a short review, but the most prominent one is that a major sidequest involves bedding every named female character in the game so you can get nudie pictures of them as trophies in the main menu. Yep. It isn't very fun to play either, being a mostly-railroaded experience with endless sessions of boring follow-the-dot quests and mediocre combat that, while ostensibly based around timed button presses and dodges, is rendered trivial by the fact that you can simply mash the left mouse button and win every battle with ease, doing damage with every press while your character's swing animation resets over and over again. Yeah, somehow nobody caught that in testing. I also had to link a video of it because its fanboys fervently insist that said problem doesn't exist and that I'm a retarded faggot (their words) for implying it does; they continue to do so despite being presented with evidence to the contrary, but it makes me feel better at least.
Witcher also sells itself on having choices that actually matter (and which you don't see the consequences of until several hours after making them to prevent save-scumming), but when my intelligence is being constantly insulted by being served a version of Krondor that's ten times crasser, less than one-eleventh as engaging, plays worse and stars a really lame Gary Stu protagonist, I don't particularly care about what happens in its present, let alone hours later owing to a choice I likely won't even remember making. Too gruesome and smutty for kids but too shallow and sophomoric for adults, the Witcher might briefly entertain those who think buying anything with blood and boobies and the word "fuck" 11 times per sentence makes them more grown-up and manly than everyone else in the room; however I suspect they'll lose interest immediately once the next sexist meathead power fantasy franchise comes into vogue. Or that part of them dies from a fatal dose of graduating high school, whichever comes first.
Developer: CD Projekt Red
Publisher: Atari, CD Projekt
Released: 2007
Platforms: PC, OS X