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Wednesday, December 9, 2020

[REDACTED]

 A review of [REDACTED] has been postponed until such time that I have been fully indoctrinated into the Everlasting Church of [COMPANY REDACTED] and can give it a 100-percent objective review that awards it nothing short of its heaven-mandated glowing 100/100 score, untouched by such vile, hateful and bigotry-laced biases as 'independent thought' or 'legitimate criticisms of its general design, severe performance issues and game killing bugs, an overall puerile tone or deliberate and entirely unnecessary health risks to, as this game's fans might just call them, "genetically inferior heathens who will never be worthy of its majesty anyway"'.  The apostles of the almighty [COMPANY REDACTED] have also made clear that any attempt to criticize [REDACTED]'s handling of any 'adult' topic it attempts to present (which I am reliably informed is all of them, because this is scripture for only the most mature and enlightened of peoples whose phrenology results and moral compasses are on even keel with transcendent artisans like James Woods and Kid Rock and Chris Taylor Brown) will result in me being labeled a 'bigot', doxxed and thrown to the wolves on every hate forum and social media platform they can flood with bots and sociopathic incels, effectively turning me into a pariah for the rest of time.  And I'd deserve it; after all, even the slightest critique of a AAA game that's been hyped up more than the coming of Yeshua is a direct, vicious attack on everyone who has deemed it the greatest thing since speedballing years before they've even played a single second of it, and as gamers are undeniably the most oppressed and marginalized group in the history of the world, is also 1:1 equivalent to inciting an ethnic cleansing campaign on par with those of Saddam Hussein.  And pulling the trigger on each and every victim yourself. 

Furthermore, I stand corrected over my assertions that [COMPANY REDACTED]'s followers engage in grotesque mental exercises like doublethink.  My perception that the cornerstone of the cyberpunk genre is a warning of the dark future that awaits us if monolithic mega-corporations and their figureheads are allowed to amass unlimited money, power and cult-level influence over the public and to celebrate those who embrace individuality and take a stand against such power-mongering... is just plain wrong.  The monolithic mega-corporation [COMPANY REDACTED]'s marks apostles actions of working in lockstep to funnel every dime they can into their god's coffers in exchange for nothing of consequence; instantly and thoughtlessly dismissing evidence of their God-king's wrongdoings, including but not limited to flagrant exploitation of their employeescreators and consumers, mysterious waves of positive PR conveniently offsetting whatever negative publicity they can't make magically disappear with a phone call and some money, and a massive data breach (possibly staged for publicity), are all perfectly valid and healthy expressions of their fandom.  As is spending countless hours of unpaid time waging war in their God-king's name via every avenue they can, up to and including attempted murder.  Any assertions to the contrary are simple delusion born of undiagnosed birth defects, schizophrenia, autism and, to quote them, "being miserable degenerate tranny pedo faggot byproducts of incest who should have been raped and murdered in high school just like all the fags I rape and kill everyday in-game lolololol'.  Please stand by until such flaws are permanently ironed from the public psyche through vigorous, sustained harassment informational campaigns led by fans and all of us unwashed vagrants cast aside such false saviors as "every other holy text or work of art created in any medium, ever" to accept the holy [REDACTED] as the indelible word of God and [COMPANY REDACTED] as the one true savior who will lead the truly pious to the promised land, where they shall reside with the almighty Ted "Theodore" Logan for all eternity.  But until that time comes: Be Excellent To Each Other, But Only If You Speak, Act And Think 100 Percent In Lockstep With What You've Been Told To Think By Your Infallible Corporate Messiah. CYBERPUNK!